i've been out to my best friend (same one i said i have crush on) for around 6 months, and recently within the last few days some of my other close friends because i've been wanting to stop pretending i was straight and get it off my chest for a while, but after thinking for a while i still feel like i'm hiding something despite how freeing coming out is. being pretty much the only straight aspect that i use as evidence to myself being bi and not just gay, and me getting over her around a year ago, there's nothing left and i feel like im completely gay but have been using the bi label for so long i don’t want to change it, and using it makes me feel more comfortable with myself with internalized homophobia and all that shit too. i've even started to doubt i actually had a crush on that girl or if i just wanted to tell myself that bc i never experienced a crush around the time everyone else did and this just happened to be a girl i was around often with clubs and stuff. i basically exclusively watch gay p with no interest in the other, and recently have a crush on my male best friend. i liked applying this to myself bc i still feel like i have some sense of being 'normal' like has been ingrained in society and myself, but i've really started to doubt any of that in me for a while. I've (18m) been calling myself bi for at least 2 years now, after liking a girl for a while but discovering i liked gay prn.
